The morning kayaking adventure around Orcas Island that I wrote about a few days ago ended as they always do there—hauling the kayak out of the water, across a rocky beach, and up a set of stairs to the lawn in front of my parents’ house. My right foot was sore when I reached the shore—the base of my big toe has been bothering me on and off ever since I started boot camp a month ago—but by the time I got the boat up to the house, the pain was so intense that I found it difficult to walk. I hobbled into the living room, plopped down on the coach with my laptop, and elevated my foot. I googled “big toe pain” and sifted through search results. After reading a dozen articles, I concluded that I must have injured a sesamoid bone, and I set up an appointment with a local doctor to get an x-ray.

The pebble-sized sesamoid bones—two of them—are located in the ball of the foot, underneath the first metatarsophalangeal joint, where the bone that forms much of your big toe (known as the first proximal phalange) meets the bone that forms part of the arch of your foot (the first metatarsal). Sesamoid bones aren’t just in our feet; they appear in areas where tendons pass over joints (in the hands, knees, and feet).

The x-ray confirmed my suspicion that one of the two sesamoids in my right foot is broken (I should have become a doctor). The fragments are clearly separated and so displaced (distant from one another) that it’s unlikely they’ll fuse together on their own. The break probably occurred some time ago, perhaps when I started boot camp. The doctor said my foot should “most likely” be isolated. I asked if I could hold off on treatment until returning to New York, and he said he didn’t think it would be a problem.

The pain is not so troublesome. What bothers me is that my activity will most likely be restricted, and this is happening after I made a commitment to getting and staying fit.

I’m not giving up. I wrote Jon, the head of the boot camp program I began and absolutely adore, and asked him for exercise recommendations that I could discuss with the orthopedist I’ll see later this week. I called a fellow cancer survivor who’s had bone problems—chemotherapy can reduce bone mineral density and increase the risk of fractures—and she recommended a center in Manhattan where she’s received top-notch treatment. I also sought a recommendation a contact at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, and a nurse there recommended the same center. I quickly learned that the wait time to see doctors there is as long as seven months, but twenty years’ experience dealing with medical staff has taught me how to get around the front door. I’ve got an appointment to see one of the chiefs this Thursday.

That’s it. I’ve done what I can do so far, and I’ll just have to see where it all takes me. Yes, I’m disappointed, and I acknowledge those feelings. I’m also concerned that my bone mineral density may have decreased. But I know that getting down about what’s happened and worrying about what might be next is not going to solve the problem. Getting through this will take some time, and I’m committed in the long-term to doing whatever’s deemed necessary (so long as I agree with it).

I’ll keep you posted…